When “the Victim” is the Bully

Bullying can appear in many guises.

It’s obvious when the “bully” is the big kid, threatening and terrorizing a smaller kid.

But what about when the “victim” is really the bully?

Here’s an example.

A painting on a wall with a giant hand and a finger pointing
Photo by Ron Ellis/Shutterstock.com

I’m “a big kid.” That is to say, I’m an adult. I’m well-educated, reasonably affluent, and able to hold my own in a conversation. I’m also a mom, which means (frankly) that if you touch or threaten my kid, you are certainly going to hear from me. I’ve got 911 on speed dial and I know how to hit the panic button on my key chain.

But I’m being bullied. And honestly? It’s really uncomfortable.

The “bully” is someone who was once a member of my church. Now that she’s left it, she spends her days crying and sobbing about how my church made her into the poor little victim that she is today—a ruined woman. One with a television platform, shady financial backing, and an ill-concealed cruelty streak that has her rampaging.

On a routine, daily basis, she is calling me names, making fun of my religious beliefs and telling invented, nasty stories about me and my family. Using her deep pocket and TV connections, she is attacking me and mine, and she is asking my friends, my colleagues, and total strangers to hate and attack me as well.

Merriam-Webster says that a bully is “a blustering, browbeating person; especially: one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable.”

Experts say that bullies just want attention.

Sounds about right, doesn’t it?

Since what Leah wants more than anything is attention, I’ll be giving her no more of mine.
Leah Remini

That’s right, folks. Leah Remini is nobody’s “victim.” But she most certainly is a bully. Her cruelty and insults are habitual, weekly and aimed directly at every practicing Scientologist. Me. My family. My friends. She has the idea (apparently) that I am weaker or smaller and vulnerable to her attacks.

And her purpose is to get attention.

Now, how exactly do you handle a bully?

Online bullying experts offer a lot of advice, but my favorite is this simple, two-step program:

  1. Gain a deep understanding of yourself (and what’s great about you).
  2. Ignore them.

I’ve got a pretty good understanding these days of myself, my family and my Church and how great we are.

So, since what Leah wants more than anything is attention, I’ll be giving her no more of mine.

We’re all so over it, Leah. Try bullying your producers for a change.

Laurie Bartilson
Always in search of wisdom and truth. I think for myself, and advise you to do the same.