According to Hollywood reports, with her show’s viewership numbers doing a nosedive into a parity with Joanie Loves Chachi reruns, Leah Remini is scrambling to find another religion to beat up.
In her infinite wisdom she has chosen a religion which 1. can’t fight back, 2. doesn’t “respond” to critics. 3. Has never been defeated or wiped out, and 4. continues to grow. Namely, Jehovah’s Witnesses. Yes folks. Although Hitler, Stalin, J. Edgar Hoover and now the Russian government have failed to wipe out Jehovah’s Witnesses, Leah Remini, Hollywood and the Disney Corporation will now mount their fiery steeds and ride down those JWs pinioning their guts to the earth with lance points and demanding they renounce their heresies against the cannons of conformity to popular Hollywood “thinking.” I just can’t wait.
With this decision, however, we should all thank Princess Leah for giving us all a clear definition of what constitutes a “cult”: 1. Any religion that maintains standards of conduct, 2. Any religion that wouldn’t have her as a member and 3. Any religion that would tell her “NO.” (It is interesting that Remini has made her place in Hollywood by playing a character who—if it were a man—would be described as bossy, controlling, narcissistic and misogynist. And she plays that character with an accuracy which is uncanny. Why, it’s almost as if she didn’t have to act… But surely that can’t be true… .)
Now, as a Scientologist I’ve grown accustomed to seeing the villagers get whipped into a witch-burning frenzy by their masters in the media, so I just roll with it. But when you start picking on my friends, that’s another matter.
You see, growing up and throughout my life, more than a few of my friends have been Jehovah’s Witnesses, and one for one I have always found them to be among the most decent, kind, hardworking and humble people I’ve ever known. I’ve always found their conduct toward me and others beyond reproach. Not only that, they walked it like they talked it.
In high school, I witnessed many occasions of hate and bigotry against Jehovah’s Witnesses, kids beating up and bullying them because their religion forbade them to fight back. They stood there and took it, some of them being beaten and kicked into a bloody, semiconscious state by smaller kids. It was disgusting to see, but the dignity each maintained was one of the rare examples of true courage I’ve ever witnessed.
If Remini decides to start trashing Jehovah’s Witnesses, it will be a very thin line to walk. President Dwight Eisenhower grew up in a Jehovah’s Witness home, Prince and Michael Jackson were Witnesses. Tennis champions Venus and Serena Williams, actor Terrence Howard, the hilarious Wayans Brothers, jazz genius George Benson and many more stellar men and women are Jehovah’s Witnesses. All of them quite humble about their religion, they are hardworking, dedicated and conduct themselves with dignity. These Jehovah’s Witnesses are all people who have excelled Leah Remini in every metric of life. It will be interesting to watch her sit in judgment on people who outclass her in every way.